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Why it can be hard to make changes

In life sometimes you want to change what you do or how you respond to situations, but it turns out to be harder than you expect. This is because of, often unconscious, beliefs that you have tucked away just outside your awareness. They have been there since childhood in many cases and were formed around the meaning you made of the World around you.

Each of us has grown up in a particular culture with its own values and beliefs which we were taught by our family and at school. Some people receive encouragement and support, others less so. This is where our beliefs about life and how it should be come from. It’s very easy to resort to saying “well that’s the way it’s always been done”.

Change tends to be uncomfortable. The process of learning something new has its ups and downs. It’s normal to feel vulnerable and this can cause a “change back” reaction which halts progress. The way to keep on track is to be really clear on why you want to change. Focus on the increased happiness it will bring.

Most of our lives are composed of doing things in a habitual way. It’s quicker and easier not to have to think about everything you do. Change needs new habits. Hard work is involved to make new habits - it’s like hacking your way through the jungle with a machete as opposed to driving along the motorway.

A great question to ask yourself is “In a years time do I still want to be where I am now?”

If the answer is no, then how would you like it to be? Be detailed and clear. How does staying the same compare to changing?

“One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up. Instead of what they have to gain.” Rick Godwin

Since change can be scary go in small steps and remember to plan and celebrate each one. Make the steps rewarding and achievable. Keep a record in any way that appeals to you - from collage to interpretive dance to spreadsheets - so you can clearly see your progress.

Practice makes Permanent

So avoid attempting to make everything perfect and enjoy the journey! Practice regularly and consistently and surprise yourself.

“May the next few months be periods of beautiful transformation.” Anonymous