Is there a way that is calmer and softer, but that still has that underlying strength needed to complete the project?
I’m part of an online business group over December and January. It’s aimed at growth and development. As I listen and watch it seems to me that the words used to describe the process of getting your business known are all around competition and pressure. Then I think about listening to people who come to me for coaching and again their goals all feature pressure to perform. Frequently the pressure is self inflicted, a result of the messaging from our social environment and our belief systems.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that to get where you want to go requires doing the thing. I just wonder of we could do it in a way that is perhaps kinder to ourselves? Is there a way that is calmer and softer, but that still has that underlying strength needed to complete the project?
I began thinking about what softness looks and feels like to me. An image of clouds floating in the sky came to mind. To me they feel insubstantial and are blown around by the winds. I feel I would fall right through if I tried to stand on them. Softness alone isn’t the answer.
My mind floated to experiences of walking in a forest, where the years of shed leaves have built a magnificent carpet inches thick. In this environment I feel held, cushioned. The noise is absorbed and the whole environment feels soft and safe. The safe comes from the strength, the tall strong trees of the forest and the solid ground beneath the soft carpet of organic matter. It feels a place I could happily sit and stay a while and my mind could be free to conjure up creative solutions to the project I am working on.
Old pastureland feels the same for me, soft layers of fine grasses and flowers, supported by the ground beneath. In this environment the wide horizons expand my focus to take in the bigger picture. I can see what is coming up further away and choose an action to take in advance.
To get where I would like to go I need to define my starting point and my destination. I need to meet myself where I am at and be really clear where that is. If I don’t know where I am starting from it will be much harder to work out which direction to go in.
Focusing on achieving my goal (destination) with softness underpinned with strength, ease, space and a sense of safety allows for clarity and confidence to develop. It also helps to release attachment to the process, allowing flexibility and flow.
In my work with horses this approach was confirmed by a young pony called Honesty. She was unhandled and in a short period allowed herself to accept touch, then a head collar. This was all achieved through using softness, soft focus and flow underpinned by the gentle strength that generates confidence. A wonderful demonstration of what is achievable when the pressure is taken off.