By knowing what we have to offer and what we need to receive it’s possible to start to follow the thread of who we are back to the time when we knew.
Visibility is a tricky thing; is someone visible when you can point her out in a crowd, or when you understand what her life feels like to her?
Stacey D'Erasmo
I was part of a team running a workshop recently and one of the themes that came up, especially with women, is that of visibility or how we show up in the world.
Visibility in this sense is about being able to be authentically yourself and be seen. Many people have hidden their real selves, often from childhood, in order to fit in or stay safe. It worked at the time and so is a pattern easily carried into adult life. However it is hard to be who we are, have fulfilling careers and healthy relationships if we are not being authentic.
Happiness and joy can seem almost unachievable as we struggle to maintain a mask. Listening to people’s stories, beneath this lies fear of rejection, for some it is real from experience, for others perceived. It takes courage to be vulnerable and be our real self.
That’s not to say that all masks are unhelpful. Sometimes we all need to use a persona to achieve a particular goal. It’s when that persona becomes who we identify as ourself that it can get in the way.
I was chatting to a colleague about this. My own achilles heel is recognising what I have to offer in my role as coach and facilitator. I all too easily feel I need more qualifications, more experience, more confidence, more organisation skills. To be honest it leaches out into many areas of my life, but tends to be most acute in relation to work.
The advantage of this is that I am always learning and developing my skills, which ultimately benefits my clients. The disadvantage is I find it hard to let people know I can help.
I have found it helpful to make a list of skills and training over all areas of my life and look at how each skill feeds into each and all interweave and are transferable.
In a similar way to believing our body - mind - emotions - spirit are interwoven and inseparable as they all affect each other, so in life our work - hobbies - relationships - relaxation are not separate parts but one whole picture of who we are. By attending to the needs of each part the others are supported and developed, as skills in one area are useful in all.
By knowing what we have to offer and what we need to receive it’s possible to start to follow the thread of who we are back to the time when we knew. It’s a process of gently peeling the layers away and discovering anew the beauty that has laid hidden.