It’s better to be at the bottom of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the one you don’t.
Stephen Kellogg
How often do you decide to change things then life gets in the way and you’re back where you were?
How would it be if you stuck to those goals? What would your life be like now?
Everywhere you look there is information on setting goals. They need to be “SMART”, they need to challenge you while being realistic, they need to be time dependent. Yet still they waft away from your consciousness by the middle of the month…
One of the first things that can stop you in your tracks is “FAILURE”, when you start the diet and eat the doughnut, plan to get fitter then miss a week of gym. I’m going to suggest you remove that F word and replace it with another “FEEDBACK”. Reframing events in this way allows you to realise that you have been knocked off course (and we’re all human). It allows you to go ahead and make adjustments to get back on course. You’re still nearer your goal than you were before - keep going.
Now for the really important bit.
Why do you want to achieve this goal? What does it give you?
The ‘why’ is what connects us emotionally to the goal. Once that connection is made it’s easier to overcome the obstacles that life throws in the way. Goals need to feel good. Keep going until you uncover the core value beneath the goal. You can do this on your own with a pen and paper, with a friend or with a coach.
Begin with the questions ‘Why do I want that?’ and ‘What does it give me?’
Keep asking until you get to where you connect deeply with the value the goal will bring. Find out what is really meaningful about the goal. What would it FEEL like to accomplish this? Then capture it in words, paint, audio or video.
Now you have your goal and the reason you want to accomplish it. Next you need to plan how you will get there. The first step is to write the goal and make it positive eg I want to increase my fitness and health by starting and sticking with exercise classes. Planning helps you to stay on track and monitor progress. Each step should be small enough that you can achieve it. Allowing yourself to be successful in each step builds motivation and commitment. Reward yourself each time.
Plan for how you will cope when things don’t go quite right. How will you overcome this? Have a strategy in place to support you through difficult times. This is where a friend or coach can make a difference. Remind yourself what is meaningful to you about this goal. Above all be kind to yourself.
Many of us are great at telling ourselves when we haven’t done well, so each day I invite you to ask yourself three questions -
What went well? List everything no matter how small or inconsequential!
Where, if anywhere, did I get stuck?
What might I do next time I’m in that situation?
Focusing on the positive in this way builds confidence and self esteem. It’s encouraging and helps us recognise what is working.
If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.
Andrew Carnegie